Night Owl

Sleep should be easy when I am this tired, but I am reluctant to give this up, this little moment to myself. I want to savor it slowly like a bite sized chocolate.  I’ve always enjoyed the quiet peace of the night. It allows me to spend quality time with myself, and make sure I'm still here. Only at night, am I able to relax and slow down enough to reach clarity of mind. Clarity of mind is important for me because it keeps me in touch with who I am. Every woman knows that it is very easy to get lost in the demands of motherhood. We change. We become these instinctual nurturing beings. We put ourselves aside on the shelf and think “I’ll get to me later, my kids need breakfast.” We are like half read books. But late at night once reassured by the slow rhythmic breathing of my sleeping cubs, and with the comfort that all their needs have been met for the day, I kick my feet up and allow myself this treat.

I grab my self from the shelf and continue reading. I write. I think. I read. I catch up on world events. I upload the many pictures that I take. I create. I do all this to stay grounded. To remind myself that I am multi-faceted and not only this instinctual momma bear. I know I should get more rest. God knows I need it, but I can’t stop having this late night meetings with my mind. It is only then that I pay attention to my voice and reassure myself that, yes I am still in here, and I am still somewhat sane.